Salamwalikoum,
I had originally intended on posting a recipe today, but I'm just a bit too upset right now to do it. I guess to understand why I'm so out of it, I should start at the beginning... There is a young man from my home town that about one and a half years ago sought us out( my husband and I) to ask us about Islam. So of course we are thrilled. We gave him all the information and moral support he needed and asked for. And last year during Ramadan he said Shahada and became a muslim. We were all so proud of him and be were close to him, even to the point that he went to Morocco and married my husband's cousin.
From the beginning he was gushing about how Islam was the perfect religion and it made so much sense and how much he was proud of his wife and loved her and couldn't wait for her to come to Canada.
Now in the mean time we had actually moved in with him in order for all of us to get a handle on our finances and come out on top. He and my husband did have a misunderstanding and all since then seemed to have been resolved.
Now since that misunderstanding the young man stopped coming to Jumaa and stopped making contact with anyone in the small community here. Several times my husband reached out to him and several times this young man would say he was stuck and couldn't get off work and he was still a muslim and not to worry everything was fine.
Now all the while his posts on Facebook and his actions were contradicting what he is telling us, but he was still in contact with his wife so we just resolved to pray for him and hope he decides to contact us when he has the time.
Now out of the blue this week he emails us to tell us he has left Islam and is now atheist and wants to divorce his wife... He blames us for his choice to become muslim stating that we pressured him and terrorised him into becoming muslim. He does not want any of us to visit his home or phone him as he will take this as a threat and contact the police.
Now is it me or does this sound like he's losing his mind?
Now he is not the 1st convert that I've seen go back and reject Islam(albeit it's a rather rare thing) but somehow I can't help but notice that this man that was once trying to be as good of a muslim as he could be. Who was becoming kinder and more generous has now become condescending and snarky and is borderline mean... Does this sound like someone who is now on the right path now that he is atheist? Wouldn't the right path in life make you a better person, not a worse one?
Now I am the type of person that believes that everyone's beliefs are their own and as long as you don't take away my rights to follow my religion you can follow yours even if I think it may be silly or wrong. In the end I know you probably think the same thing about my beliefs and that's fine.
But to blame me for a decision that you made and to say that I was the one pressuring you?
Was I the one that pronounced the Shahada for you?
Did I read your books for you?
Did I make salat for you?
Was I the one telling you to pray or listen to Islamic lectures when you were sitting home alone?
Was several different people telling you that Islam is a serious business and that it should not be taken lightly terrifying to the point that you were incapable of telling them you were not interested?
Really an old man over 70 yrs old and my husband who is 5'4'' are so terrifying to you, a young 20 yrs old whose almost 6' tall?
Is any of this making sense? Does this kid really think he is responsible for his actions when he blames others for the choices he makes and chooses to abandon a wife that he chose for himself?
I'm just lost in all of this. I feel so betray and angry and utterly disappointed. I've come to realise this young man makes too many rushed decisions without ever weighing the consequences and then blames others for his choices. I have seen him do this in his personal and professional life.
And I've also come to see that his parents are complete enablers....
At this point my husband refuses to have any and all contact with this guy and I am stuck in the go between trying to make sure he does right by his wife.
I pray that Allah may guide him and that my children will never grow up to be like him. I also pray to have the patience to deal with his smug condescension and insults towards my beliefs with grace and kindness that he may see where the true guided path is found Amine.
till next time (when recipes will follow with joy inshallah)
a discouraged and hurt Sister.
